Infinite Circle

infinite circle
(inspired by the Mayan,
a poet unknown to himself,
and a dream)

A pulsing signature

is written in the stream

a bridge manifests

from questing

as the warrior seeks

the promise .

the technician

of the sacred ,
yellow star,
blue night,
resonant mirror

uses paper

as the medium of

spirit written

the physical world reels with the rhthym

OneTree full of Life sacrificed  itself
for this moment

the words resurrect the fabric,
as the reader begins to
touch the source

vision requests forms

 to enter
the net is cast like
endless matrix of light

every concept is bathed in emotion
 charged and accelerating,
traveling to a hidden ocean

within

portals open

thus when each

swims into the Night

returning to the abyss

in Dreamtime

the Skywalker and

Red Dragon embrace,
as the Infinite Circle shifts  
from the endless chase.

Different Players in the Game of Life

I am imagining the key players in our lives as faces in a deck of playing cards- Karmic face cards. All the players essential to the game of life are there- token villains, benevolent healers, dear friends. When we look a bit deeper, we see all the archetypes & aspects intrinsic to our wholeness staring right back at us. There they are, there we are, all together now. Ah, we were on the same team after all..

                                                                             - Jeff Brown

As I review my marriage and commitment to my ex-husband over a ten year period, I can't be regretful.  I am maybe too proud to feel that I chose the wrong man to be committed to.  I really feel that in the end it was something I had to do.  The commitment was something I was unsure I could do as I entered this relationship.  As I look back now it was something I had to experience.  When we choose a partner are  we really doing anything other than picking someone to reflect off of.  I mean I know my husband has his own whirlwind of issues and emotional weaknesses and strengths, but did I learn anything about myself along the way?  Yes.  Did he help me do this? Yes.
      I can't help to feel a connection to my now ex-husband.  Don't get me wrong I do not want to associate with him any longer.  We probably went past our allotted time together and when couples do that things can get ugly.  I don't feel a deep resentment toward him.  I think we both should of awoken sooner to the idea that things were not working out.  We struggled to keep it going and ended up ruining a lot of things in our lives.  I feel worse for him, as he has a lot of guilt and so he did things that he might feel guilty for.  I was already emotionally gone by the time I found out that he had done things that weren't right. 
        I am a little dismayed at my indifferent reaction to the ending of our relationship.  I think I become so aloof.  This could be a defense mechanism because if you let it, the drama can bleed you dry.  It is similar to vampires as I call them, they don't suck blood, but they take all of your energy.  After you deal with them you feel empty or depleted. 
        I think there were two paths that I could of traveled down.  The one where I waited for some pie in the sky partner or I could take a risk.  It was a risky adventure with my ex-husband.  I dealt with things that were maybe not what I deserved, but who am I to know in this limited space and time, what other kinds of behavior I am dishing out in other space and times.  The lesson is to side-step the so-called drama.  Release that emotional bond, let it all go and know that you played your cards the best that you could.  I have to say that I did give it my best.  Should I beat myself up because I don't have a marriage that lasted 35 to 60 years, no I will not do that.  Do I hate the man that I was committed to for ten years of my life?  No I won't do that.  I just don't have it in me. (I mean the energy it would take it too exhausting) 
       I put this on my Initiation Blog because it was a sort of test and a needed path for me. I am not going to pretend I know what the hand of god is or wants, but I do feel its grace.  I believe that I am connected to a great Source, and I would not be led astray.  I would not be forsaken , to be left in a senseless path without a lesson I must learn.   I had to meet my husband and do the game.  I lost in the eyes of the world, but the inner me found many attributes.  I have grown.  If you can play the part and reflect with compassion and love in the end, then your initiation will be that treasure that the hero always seeks.  Life is one initiation after the other.  It may wear many masks but we are down in it.  This school of life is in session so study hard, use your talents and be gentle with yourself.  If you are here you are grace itself a hero already. 

Eygptian Mysteries of Inititation

"This nocturnal regeneration of the sun demonstrates, by way of example, that powers of renewal are at work on the far side of death. At the same time, the journey occurs in the spaces of the human soul, in which a renewal from the depts become possible. That it is an odyssey of the soul is emphazised by the Egyptians through the indication that the sun god descends into the depths as a ba-soul (and thus is ram-headed, since ba is also the word for ram) ; herein lie significant antecedents of modern psychotherapy."Hornung, 1999, p.27.Treatise of the Hidden Chamber,
the positions of the Ba-souls,
the gods,
the shadows,
the Akh-spirits,
and what is done.
(http://www.maat.sofiatopia.org/peret_em_heru.htm)


The search is not yet done.  Our frontier has just begun.  We do not know the depth of the sacred text of antiquity.  We have only started with our first step towards discovery.  The modern western human begins with science which requires evidence.  The Eastern human of ancient times began their experience with religious/mystic experiments.  We are opposed to each other, yet we will eventually come to the same conclusion. 
        It is just a matter of time before the modern man will discover the entire DNA sequence.  Only 3% of our DNA is understood today.  The mystery continues.  Just has our view- scientific as it is, reads the Egyptian Book of the Dead as a text about Death.  This is completely misread. 

*The ka-name relates to the vital essence of an individual.

Reincarnation has been connected with the rites of Osiris, one of the Mysteries or cycles of initiation perpetuated in Egypt. The concept of transformation as recorded in the Egyptian texts has been interpreted in various ways. De Briere expresses it in astronomical terms: "The sensitive soul re-entered by the gate of the gods, or the Capricorn, into the Amenthe, the watery heavens, where it dwelt always with pleasure; until, descending by the gate of men, or the Cancer, it came to animate a new body." (1)  (By I. M. Oderberg,http://www.theosophy-nw.org/theosnw/reincar/re-imo2.htm)
     The Eygptians were pre-Vedas and as complex as the Hindu religion.  They were involved in secret cults which involved serious mystic experiences.  Our knowledge of astronomy, medicine and religious experience does not come close to what the Egyptian people and or religious sects were doing.  They built monuments that  are more advance than any astronomical creation we have created in modern times.  There is something very significant to the Egyptian culture and sacred text.  It is time we go back and study their point of view from a more respectful reverance, rather than a dogmatic scientific view. 

Mayan Tzolkien- A Natural Measurement of Time

Red Overtone Moon
Planetary 9, Kin: 109

I empower in order to purify,
Commanding flow.
I seal the process of universal water
With the overtone tone of radiance.
I am guided by the power of navigation.
I am a galactic activation portal...enter me.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
http://mayan.tzolkin.com/


What If Each day had a positive message like this?
What if how we measured time was according to the human gestation period, and the woman's cycle was also apart of the calculation.  The Mayan measured time by these human natural occurances.  The seven days of the week represent the seven chakras centers of the human energy fields. 
The false sense of time is weakening our existence here.  We are too separated from each other, the natural rhythms of nature and our whole galaxy.  It time to reevaluate the whole paradigm. 

Tennis as a Kind of Initiation

Tennis is a sport that requires the full body.  It mimics life in that you are alone on the court and you are constantly battling with yourself and your opponent.  The opponent can change spontaneously without warning.  Time is relative as in a game can theoretically go on for eternity.  If the players are well matched it will go on for days until someone finally wins.  Tennis requires extreme technical skill and extreme mental discipline.  Even if you are athletic does not mean you will have the mental fortitude to win.  Essentially it is a art.  It requires so much of a human being that if you take it seriously you will  evolve.  Yet I would like to point out that many players who are very good at the game do not let the game of tennis filter into their deep consciousness.  They are narrow minded and only consider winning to be the ultimate goal.  They do not practice tennis as an art, but a means to an end, a way to remain in their small narrow usually rich world.  Those of us that are moved deeply from this game have a different experience.  It is very similar to a quest of a hero.  It is an initiation of the mind, body and soul.  A transformation is possible, as with all art forms.  This is how I was effected by the game. 

If tennis was my lover....I met him when I was 10.  Well my mother introduced us, and she liked him right away.   Me on the other hand, hated him...maybe until I was 13 or 14.  I hated his stare, the one that would look into my weakness, my laziness, my self-importance.  His expectations were too much and I failed him so many times.  But as I tore myself to pieces he would support me and piece me back together.   After long battles between us, he came in my most desperate moments and saved me a million times.  He took me into the deep caverns where secret ceremonies of initiations were conducted.   There stages of developement, tournaments to challenge my ability.  I was schooled on the ethics and mindset of a champion.  It was in these moments that my life was transformed. 

             Mostly my body was the betrayer, she had a deep passion for him.   He taught her how to move, how to perform beyond her wildest dreams.  She soaked up his attention like a desert  soakes up water in a monsoon season. 

               It may sound too young, yet one nameless day he I became one. I was only 14 and I was playing a serious high school match against a ranked player.  I understood him that day, I let him in to the deepest part of me.   I won that day, but I also wasn't the same - there was no end to him and no beginning of me, nothing was distinguishable between us.  This was my sacred hour where bliss was born. 

            I would refuse him, yet want him because he taught me how to be my best self.  I needed him yet I wanted to kill him.  My passion for him waned and I left him for a long time.  He would always call.  He would show up and make me fall to my knees, and I would grasp at him.  No one on Earth ever treated me so compassionately, and required so much from me.  I gave myself to him as much as I could.  But I always held something back, maybe fearful of my own ability.  He knew me, knew my talent, yet never judged me for not having the courage to be a champion. 

             I did not know when I was young what it was to be so close to something, to let another take me over, to teach me, to push me beyond, to know my talents and make me realize who I was.    How did I walk away from this?   Now older he returns again and I welcome him like a lost lover.  He moves through me and my body knows him oh so well.  Sometimes I think my body is endlessly waiting for him.  She loves to fly and glide and show her  grace.  He allows her this luxury as he always has.  He still is true, so relentless in his expectation of me.  How can I resist the grace and the love in his eyes when we are together.  When he loves me like this I see the best in myself.  

Defeating a Petty Tyrant

A petty tyrant is a tormentor. Someone who either holds the power of life and death over warriors or simply annoys them to distraction. – Carlos Castaneda – The Fire from Within

          

        Petty tyrants are in positions of authority and use this to exaggerate their power on to the lower status individuals in the company or group.  Their purpose is to feel that they are more valuable than the other.  Yet if you have a petty tyrant in your life you are blessed.  If you consider your self on a sacred journey on this Earth, and a lesson is to be learned then you have arrived at blessing.  You must focus on your attributes, pay close attention to your every move in regards to this person that has no regard for right and wrong.  The petty tyrant is concerned with their power and how they will get more, and they will use you to get what they want.  They do not care one bit for you.  There is only their extreme sense of superiority.  The examples in history have been the Nazi's and their vile and corrupt sense of purpose.  They were monsters and this is what you face. 

            You must focus on your own light and be impeccable with your energy.  This means you gather your strength within.  You also work and pay attention to every detail of the petty tyrants behavior.  You gather information slowly, methodically so that you may find their weakness.  Strategically gathering your strength to battle with them ultimately. 

            In my case it was my boss who did an evaluation of my classroom and my conduct.  This person was never in my classroom but two times.  I had to defend myself in every step of the way.  I was surprised at my fortitude when facing them straight on in the office that we met in.  As our battle began I stepped backed and consulted with fellow teachers as what would be a good strategy to use.  These evaluations are permanent parts of our records. 

            I stood back emotionally as not to blow up and look the fool.  I waited and plotted as to what would be the best approach.  I was ambushed one day and she tried to bullying me into thinking she was more powerful than me.  She tried to shift the ground from under my feet and said that she would change my effective mark(the highest on this evaluation) to a developing.  This was not accurate and I began my work.  I gathered my energy, data, all tools to convince her of her mistake.  I made an appointment as a professional would be expected to do.  We sat again in the office and I battled, defended my position like a warrior of light.  We came to a comprise on this one part of my evaluation.  She said we would leave it open and she would come into my classroom to observe my conduct one more time.  I was satisfied by this. 

            Long story short she entered my room and said  "I will return the evaluation to Effective."  Oh yes you will P.T.  And I accomplished my goal.  The battle was won by  me in the end.  It was not easy, but I remained calm and knew in my heart that I deserved what I received.  I am a very effective teacher working in a system that is completely broken.  

            You must attain a view that you have power.  You have ability to resolve the situation.  If not then you must work to attain this energy level within you and this might be why you are faced with such a monster. 

        Ultimately it goes like this. 

"The petty tyrant teaches the warrior to develop a strategy utilizing the four attributes of warrior ship:  control, discipline, forbearance, and timing.  As a result the warrior deepens so much so into these four attributes that it may be a very long time until the next petty tyrant appears.  And then, the ultimate pleasure arises when you become aware that you have become someone else’s petty tyrant.  And the gift, in this case, may be pure awareness and detachment to the petty tyrant as the result of your fluidity and energetic efficiency." (http://thetoltecpath.wordpress.com/2009/07/27/the-petty-tyrant/)

Shift to 13 Moon Calendar- Shifting our Time

www.13moon.com/5moon-cover_med.jpg

"The 13 Moon Calendar Story
The Dreamspell is part of a prophetic “time release.” It is coded into the information left by the Classic or Galactic Maya. This insight was discovered by Dr. José Argüelles. It was brought to light in his pioneering work on the codes of time, The Mayan Factor, in which he identified the dates for the world-wide peace event known as the Harmonic Convergence. Dr. Argüelles and his wife Lloydine further revealed and refined their understanding of the secrets of 4th dimensional time in their subsequent work, The Dreamspell. According to Dr. Argüelles, a Dreamspell is “any agreed upon belief system which creates a continuing state of consciousness.” We are now at the end of the Dreamspell of history and at the beginning of the Dreamspell of galactic culture. This means that we are coming to the end of the belief in the male dominant, warrior hero, fear and separation paradigm. And we are preparing to move into the love based, artist hero paradigm of natural time. All we have to do is change our view of time and open ourselves to the love that is inherent in us all."
                               Randy Bruner  http://www.thejewelnetwork.com/host_brunerblog/?page_id=2

The essential questions is how does time influence our life.  If you don't stop and take a look you may never even doubt it, or examine it.  As you become more insync with your Earth you will notice little feelings and or moments that seem off.  First the most obvious manipulation of time is the Day Light Savings issue.  Since I live in a state that doesn't do it, I am at least getting more natural according to the Earth's natural rhythms.  For those who live in a state that promotes the shifting of time, you will notice it really screws up your whole body, understand and feelings.  It is not right. 

          A female body has a natural cycle of 28 days.  The moon is on the same cycle.  As a woman I have never known when I am going to get my period.  And as a X-generation - public school system graduate I have never learned the calandar days.  I mean it feels unnatural that I have to remember different days for different months. 
          Don't get me started on the Roman Catholic Church manipulating to this day another aspect of my life.  We have had a long bloody history in the West because of this religious institution.  Can we just say we are done with this old way of controlling others.  If there are 13 moons and an equal amount of days that go with each cylce why can the scientist not shift this around.  I think that time our 3rd dimension marker.  If we take it for granted or don't become accurate time keepers we are just fools spinning around on a planet. 
        The Roman Cahtolic Church changed the calandar because they thought they knew something, they did not "know" anything but power.  They were not priests but emperors and to be living under their influence is nothing different than the medieval times when the masses had no idea what the hell was going on.  We need to shift on so many levels and it begins with Time- to get aligned with the Earth and our whole solar system we need to go the direction of understanding it as a whole, and that we are part of it.